serendipity.

i am different. it is strange.  our viewpoints are different. i do not belong. "we" feel self-righteous. superiority. complex. can it be as such.

if i could just sum THIS up. titanic. birds. shifty eyes. jargon. not mine. not yours.  agile. no. waterfall. no. 0101.  i chose me. m.

i lost my temper at work today. imploded. this internal angst is getting out of hand.  i must leave. as if HE knew my mind, two leads came back. they wanted me to take up an old job to replace g. it's better than the work today for sure - it's all relative.  though i must say i'm not exactly excited by the prospect. i am useful. i am a machine. but yeah, i also want to be remembered as a human... heart out of a bottle (thanks a). perhaps this is what being settled looks like. going for the option that does not jump at you. m.

she looked into the  | mirror | searching  her reflection searching to recognise the face staring back light has gone out of the eyes blank perhaps a walking dead? sadness  tugging at corners of lips  form and frown skin seems to have aged she did not dare look happy  lost searching the past  longing to belong  | mirror |  and she runs out.

today marks the 7th day at work. 2 colleagues asked whether i was ok because i looked "quiet" and "tired".  it's not much of a big deal really. though it led me to wonder whether the universe is trying to tell me something. that this current situation is...  taking away the life out of my spirit; taking away the spark out of my eyes; taking away the lightness in my steps; i wonder if this is why i find it increasingly difficult to inspire others or be inspired anymore. because inside i feel empty and maybe just a tad lonely. ended the evening with dinner with m.i.a. hope to get through the week and make it to friday. m.